You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
