it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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