it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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