Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
