Betty ford says i'm here all night
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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