Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize