He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
