ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
