You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
