my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Text me some of your sweat
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
