Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
