Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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