It's Friday. Sex?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
