I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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