Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
