I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
