This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
