my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
