I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
