at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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