You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
