Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
