yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
