She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
