I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
