last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
