i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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