We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
