just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
