never play flip cup with pint glasses
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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