Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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