so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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