I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
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On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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