Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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