Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
