my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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