Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
