i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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