i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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