I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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