We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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