I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
P.S. I can't hear my feet
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
