i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
