This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
