The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
