You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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