I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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