We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
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sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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