and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
