Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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