What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
