My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
did i just pee glitter
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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