You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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