oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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