How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Your cock deserves a montage
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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