Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
