So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
