so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
