I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
