It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
