Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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