No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
